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Mauz "Punk" Deadalive
01 October 2011 @ 01:13 am
woke up
went to work
got a stripper's digits
impressed her with how i gave her mine
went to bed
Current Location: the dolphin
Internally: drunkdrunk
nOi!ze: what you can shake it to using a poll
Mauz "Punk" Deadalive
09 August 2011 @ 03:12 pm
man I tell ya....what took me so dang long to move back here to PDX....still within my 90 days at work so I can not even earn benefits yet...and I interviewed yesterday for yet another position...what this means is that within my first 90 days I have the possibility of being promoted twice....not too shabby....the best part is the new job is me going back to my old job before moving....and my current job has floored all parties involved with how i am doing and the compliments i just seem to accumulate....i am also taken aback at the people i used to know who are coming out of the woodwork or i seem to simply stumble upon....it blows my mind....i think i have reconnected with more people in about 3 months than i did in 3 years...i could go on about some other silly things....like the rockstar feeling when i go to the strip club down the road with my roomate....or how there are several places that already recognize me as a 'regular'....or how i am taking part in my first 40k tournament and have even been motivated enough to start painting the army i have had for almost 10 years now i want to say....of course i have the horrible down falls to add about how i am probably not going to be speaking to my father for some time now....it amuses me because according to him i have become quite the angry person since moving back....totally not liking that part of my life recently....how people seem to want to convince me i am feeling a different way than i actually am...and as always its totally me....ah well....gotta take the good with the bad and thank bog lately its been more good than bad....huzzah and a gold star with a pat on the back after a high five....*deep breath*
Current Location: in my corner at work
nOi!ze: the buzz of those around me
Mauz "Punk" Deadalive
06 June 2011 @ 04:00 pm
wow...i am amazed at how well received i am in pdx...figure lj never gets the first and foremost of news now a days so instead of posting this on facebook or twitter today i decided the underused wins....i just got a promotion with in thirty days of being back at work...earning three more dollars an hour with the awesome bonus of my new boss pretty much jumping up and dancing when she found out it was all ok'ed by the higher ups and that i was down with such things....it makes me feel uber special...there is the added bonus to that even though i worked here years ago and they know me still i have managed to impress them with my work ethic and habits in this short amount of time being back.,..which makes me know my last job truly was an abusive relationship...because no one believes anyone could think what they thought of me....ah well....water under the bridge now....moving forward and feeling good....now if only i had me a wifey to be all proud of me...thankfully though i do has my friends....huzzah
Mauz "Punk" Deadalive
19 May 2011 @ 10:59 am
for once in my life i seem to have the mantra of its good to be me...its an odd feeling and outside of my comfort zone...but i find it more comforting than how i have been feeling as of late...and when i state as of late i probably mean these past few years...sometimes my concept of time scares me because it seems so off...i explained to a friend once...she kind of looked at me like i was odd but then commented her child explained the same concept...which boils down to tomorrow is the past and something i can never gain back...simply hope i learned my lesson from it but everything seems to have happened yesterday....tomorrow will never get here no matter how i struggle or fight to make it happen...and somehow i can tend to convince myself not to worry i will just get it done tomorrow...which means all we got is right now...the moment we are in...the today...i dunno...i think if i could change this concept in my head then life would be simpler to plan for...but the punk in me does cherish living for the day...carpe diem as they say...carpe diem....anywho back to work for this bum...the main point is...huzzah...i feel happy and excited about life and for once feel its good to be me...even if i find my bed somewhat lonely...but all in due time...i hope
Current Location: the old stomping grounds
Mauz "Punk" Deadalive
27 April 2011 @ 10:00 am
well holy shit folks...it finally happened....after all the hemming and hawing i moved back to portland...its only been a couple of days but already i feel the difference...i am much more at ease about things....granted there are some changes i will have to adjust to...but before i know it that line will be crossed...other than that i quickly ask myself every now and again what took me so long...but its the future i want to focus on...just gotta stay positive and remind myself i can do this...because for once in my life i truly believe i can do this....also...fry sauce exists and somehow that validates my sanity (c:-0
Current Location: OREGON!!!!
Internally: complacentcomplacent
Mauz "Punk" Deadalive
12 April 2011 @ 07:03 pm

so the light at the end of the tunnel is here...and don't it figure it can't just happen with little incident...i would get into it but i would rather forget about the emotional struggles that are rearing up currently...i will comment that its hard to be happy about something when those that should be supportive seem to think about how dare i move away as opposed to try to make it here...i wish i could make it here but try as i might its just me struggling to barely get by...i know i deserve more than that and can achieve more than that...and i will confess i am scared at this time...but i am trying to remind myself thats just because this means something to me...i just gotta stay positive and self assured...which for me is damn hard...but i am trying...and honestly...i can't wait....so far the news from the west coast makes me feel loved and missed...which makes me feel special...and i like feeling special....now i am rambling but i feel better...huzzah...to a brighter future and a happier more content me

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